Joke Station

Today Birthday

AOL is one of the only companies that have ever delivered rich, managed content to the retail consumer profitably.(John McKinley)
W. Somerset Maugham(Unknown)
Then on Sat I recorded scenes from (not the picture- from the book itself) 'The Brothers Karamazov.'(Basil Rathbone)
As for action movies, I did Tarzan, and I'm also about to shoot Meltdown, which John Carpenter wrote.(Casper Van Dien)
Arnold J. Toynbee(Unknown)
We were the finest. We were the best in the world. We were a department that people came from all over the world to study, to look at, to see how we accomplished so much with so little; and we did.(Daryl Gates)
Look to your health; and if you have it, praise God and value it next to a good conscience; for health is the second blessing that money cannot buy; therefore value it, and be thankful for it.(Izaak Walton)
It is a sin not to do what one is capable of doing.(Jose Marti)
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.(Edward Shepherd Mead)
My country is the world; my countrymen are mankind.(William Lloyd Garrison)

Year	Event
2042	Valentinian III is elevated as Roman Emperor, at the age of 6.
2010	Battle of Arausio: The Cimbri inflict a major defeat on the Roman army of Mallius Maximus.
2005	A live hand grenade lands about 100 feet from United States President George W. Bush while he is giving a speech to a crowd in Tbilisi, Georgia, but malfunctions and does not detonate.
2003	May 2003 tornado outbreak ends.
2002	Lynda Lyon Block is executed in Yellow Mama, the electric chair of Alabama.
2002	FBI agent Robert Hanssen is given a life sentence without the possibility of parole for selling American secrets to Moscow for $1.4 million in cash and diamonds.
2001	In Ghana, a stampede at a football game kills over 120 spectators.
1998	National elections are held in Hungary.
1997	An earthquake near Ardekul in northeastern Iran kills at least 2,400 people.
1996	John XIII becomes Pope.