Martial Arts film can be artful and stunningly beautiful, and they can have pulse-pounding action. Sometimes, however they can be downright weird. Some of this weirdness can be blamed on cultural differences, or jokes that don’t translate well, much of it has no excuse at all. If you’re into the tragically bizarre, here’s ten flicks you shouldn’t miss.

10Swordsman With an Umbrella

A frequent addition to $5.99 Kung Fu movie box sets, “Swordsman with an Umbrella” gives you exactly that: A swordsman out for revenge, who totes around a Japanese style umbrella. While this isn’t to strange in itself, the weirdness factor gets turned up when he uses this umbrella to fly Mary Poppins style, or throws it like a Frisbee at his enemies, accompanied by goofy cartoon sound effects. Keep in mind this movie is NOT a comedy, or at least not meant to be.

9Deadful Melody

Starring popular Jackie Chan collaborator Yuen Biao, and “Bride with White Hair” star Bridgette Lin, “Deadful Melody” tells the story of a haunted Lyre (A musical Instrument similar to a harp) that can kill when the right notes are played. In a Memorable final battle Bridgette Lin’s character uses the Lyre to fight off an entire army, reducing them all to empty clothing with bizarre “magic bullets” fired from the lyre, all with pretty music being played over the screams of the dying.

8They Call me Phat Dragon

Also Known as “The Invincible Kung Fu Master”. Star of TV’s “Martial Law” Sammo Hung stars in his breakout role as a fat master of martial arts who hones his student’s skill with “Food based” training. A memorable scene involves the famished hero trying to cross a slippery tile floor to get to his lunch before his master could finish eating it. Effective training indeed. Check out the Wu-tang clan’s Remastered DVD release complete with trailers and original Music Video.

7Duel to the Death

While it’s an all out classic of martial arts film, “Duel to the death” is also one of the weirdest. In the film a Japanese master of the sword and a Chinese master of the sword seek to see who’s better, while a group of ninjas try to stop the duel by using some of the most bizarre tricks, such as merging together Voltron-style into a giant ninja, or transforming into a naked woman to distract a chaste monk. The film takes gore to unintentionally hilarious levels as the final villain is beheaded, the head then flies after the hero, gets impaled on a stick, says a line (“YOU WILL DIIIIIIEEEEE” if I recall correctly) then explodes!

6Filthy Guy

Also Known as “Return of the Secret Rivals” and “Emperor of the Filthy Guy”. “Filthy guy” is another Sammo Hung vehicle that chronicles the rise one of the first emperors of the Chin Dynasty, who, for god knows why, was known for having serious scalp problems. If that’s not weird enough, throughout the film our hero uses his slimy, infected scalp as a weapon, forcing enemies to smell it, or using it to block sword blades and even break walls (for some reason his scalp disease makes his head seemingly invincible). One Memorable scene involves our hero waking up an entire monastery as he rings the two-ton temple bell with his head, to scratch an itch.

> Martial Arts film can be artful and stunningly beautiful, and they can have pulse-pounding action. Sometimes, however they can be downright weird. Some of this weirdness can be blamed on cultural differences, or jokes that don’t translate well, much of it has no excuse at all. If you’re into the tragically bizarre, here’s ten flicks you shouldn’t miss.

10Swordsman With an Umbrella

A frequent addition to $5.99 Kung Fu movie box sets, “Swordsman with an Umbrella” gives you exactly that: A swordsman out for revenge, who totes around a Japanese style umbrella. While this isn’t to strange in itself, the weirdness factor gets turned up when he uses this umbrella to fly Mary Poppins style, or throws it like a Frisbee at his enemies, accompanied by goofy cartoon sound effects. Keep in mind this movie is NOT a comedy, or at least not meant to be.

9Deadful Melody

Starring popular Jackie Chan collaborator Yuen Biao, and “Bride with White Hair” star Bridgette Lin, “Deadful Melody” tells the story of a haunted Lyre (A musical Instrument similar to a harp) that can kill when the right notes are played. In a Memorable final battle Bridgette Lin’s character uses the Lyre to fight off an entire army, reducing them all to empty clothing with bizarre “magic bullets” fired from the lyre, all with pretty music being played over the screams of the dying.

8They Call me Phat Dragon

Also Known as “The Invincible Kung Fu Master”. Star of TV’s “Martial Law” Sammo Hung stars in his breakout role as a fat master of martial arts who hones his student’s skill with “Food based” training. A memorable scene involves the famished hero trying to cross a slippery tile floor to get to his lunch before his master could finish eating it. Effective training indeed. Check out the Wu-tang clan’s Remastered DVD release complete with trailers and original Music Video.

7Duel to the Death

While it’s an all out classic of martial arts film, “Duel to the death” is also one of the weirdest. In the film a Japanese master of the sword and a Chinese master of the sword seek to see who’s better, while a group of ninjas try to stop the duel by using some of the most bizarre tricks, such as merging together Voltron-style into a giant ninja, or transforming into a naked woman to distract a chaste monk. The film takes gore to unintentionally hilarious levels as the final villain is beheaded, the head then flies after the hero, gets impaled on a stick, says a line (“YOU WILL DIIIIIIEEEEE” if I recall correctly) then explodes!

6Filthy Guy

Also Known as “Return of the Secret Rivals” and “Emperor of the Filthy Guy”. “Filthy guy” is another Sammo Hung vehicle that chronicles the rise one of the first emperors of the Chin Dynasty, who, for god knows why, was known for having serious scalp problems. If that’s not weird enough, throughout the film our hero uses his slimy, infected scalp as a weapon, forcing enemies to smell it, or using it to block sword blades and even break walls (for some reason his scalp disease makes his head seemingly invincible). One Memorable scene involves our hero waking up an entire monastery as he rings the two-ton temple bell with his head, to scratch an itch.